My $250 Cigarette!!!! by Azma

From Azma's myspace blog

So saturday night My band, U.S PIPE Rocked a show up in winter park at the Winter Park Pub!!! Dope ass show!!! Those cats know how to get down on the good foot!!! It was our 2nd time up and they were jus' as wild as the 1st, Rocked wit' us from 10-2am. NON-STOP!!

Aiight, So the shows over, we load up our equipment, sign some cd's, drink some"danks", and roll out!!

Now I know that we have all been to hotels were they got signs up that say no smoking, right? Right. Otay!! And I'm sure that some people disregard these signs, like me!! Hahahaha!! This "BAD MUTHAFUCKA", (me) pulls a "SUPER STUPID", while I "ENJOY LIFE", and decides to smoke a muthafuckin' cigarette!!!! Tsk, tsk, tsk!!! Bad choice!!! In my state of Ignorant bliss...hahaha...I payed no attention to the sign that said, "No smoking in the rooms, violators will be subject to a $250 fine." Now keep in mind, I've smoked in most hotel rooms that had similar signs, but they never inforced them...Hell to tha naw...not this time!!!! apparently ALL of the rooms on the 2nd floor were jus' remodeled, new carpet, new paint, new furniture, new everything!!! Damnit!

And duh, I'm in winter park, where their only goal is to make scrilla!!

Ok, Sunday morning I roll out wit' the horn players and Everythang is coo', or so I Think!! Remember ignorant bliss? I get to denver, do what I gotta do for my day, go home and chill....Citrus texted me and says, "Winter park promoter called...great show...someone smoked in room 203...Owe best western $250...

DAMNIT!!! A brotha' shoulda used a "SMOKESCREEN"!!! oh yeah I'm on a roll!!! hahahahaha!! So now my dumb ass has to "WRITA' MAN" a $250 dolla' check! Ain't that a bitch! for a goddamn cigarette, thee most expensive muthafuckin' cigarette to touch my lips!! I should call em' and see if they still got the butt so I can put that shit in a gold case or some shit! So after my first reaction I laughed so muthafuckin' hard that I was cryin', my stomach is still sore from laughin so damn hard!!! If I can't laugh at myself, then who the fuck can I laugh at?

So the moral of the story is....fuck it ain't no damn moral, next time you wanna smoke, take yo' ass outside!!!

Maybe Hotels should start usin' a picture of my ass handin' over a $250 dolla' check to keep people from smokin' in their rooms!!! hahahaha! yeah laugh it up, jus' be glad it wasn't you!!

On the serious tip....My apologies to Jeff Williams, The Promoter for the pub, and to The best western....and especially my band!! My bad!!

Peace

Azmorphius.... the man who paid $250 for a cigarette!!