Three of the most important conversations by Citrus

From Citrus' myspace blog

I had three of the most important conversations in my life this week.

I am still reeling from it all really. HEAVY STUFF for me.
First got with my Tia Margaret...we Finally got to share some perspective on Life together after some 31 yrs apart....I got some good information from her and a LOT of LOVE. I realized that the LOVE truly was always present...and tho the dam was holding it back...the floodgates are wide open at the moment and the river of life is moving fast...cleaning and churning....stagnant no more.

Being alone with her was amazing. That conversation led me to the next two because it came to light that my sisters weren't talking to each other and why....

So...Next up....Sister Kim....numba ONE.
Yes...she is the oldest of my three sisters..and the one that I know the least.

We FINALLY got to be alone...the FIRST TIME IN OUR LIVES!!!!
I dunno how to describe the emotions that went thru me...I think Every emotion you could have passed thru my being on that day. Quickly...over the course of a couple of hours we tried to catch up...to express ourselves and our perspectives on the mess that is our Family..to show how much we love each other...Mostly we realized that we were played against each other.. we knew it all along...but we made it REAL that day...and vowed to NOT ALLOW it any longer. We are grown folk now and will just have to take the reigns and show our elders about a little thing called the TRUTH...because it will certainly set us all free. My poor sister...she has suffered enough and plenty...perhaps more than I can even imagine. We did after all only get thru a couple of tough layers to this onion.

Next up...Baby Sista...who is NO baby... Krista..
We went to breakfast with our Auntie and Uncle then over to their house to look at pictures. Margaret is pretty damn sick(see previous blog Orando por mi tia) and is obviously preparing herself mentally for her bodies' eventual end. I got a good amount of pictures of my cousins and uncles and aunts and dad and step mom and sisters and grandparents and such....pictures from different phases of their lives that I missed out on...some from the way back machine...the faces that I remember.
THEN...we went for a little walk...Just me and Krista also for the FIRST time we were alone together....and WE tried to catch up. We learned a LOT about each other. Even MORE stuff came up and out....cuz I had more information at this point...and could suss some things out better.
I realized that tho I had the pain and agony of being ripped from my family...my sisters suffered more than I did. Their life stories sound like a hell that I am very lucky to have escaped. We all longed for each other equally and were equally confused and hurt by the whole thing. I see that we are all cut off from our emotions (nobody cried). We learned a lot of the same stuff...I saw myself in them for the FIRST time. Yes...tho they say that they are polar opposites..my sisters are very much alike..and I am like THEM.


WE all got an honest look into the mirror this week. The ramifications are yet to be felt...and there are two or three more conversations that MUST be had...the THREE of us together...and One on ONE with Pops...
None of us and All of us are to blame...and there will have to be discussions with everybody really. They should be much easier that these first 5 or so...

NONE of this would be going down without Myspace and my cousin Rachel. The ONLY one to take a step towards ME.